Monday, May 23, 2011

Dangerous confessions

I need darkness.
I need solitude and silence.
I need you.
You see through my defenses.

Our souls reach for each other
I can feel the pull of your gravity on mine.

I am the sea, you are the moon.
your fingers grip the sand
as I embrace you
envelope you
your feet
your knees
sliding up your spine
splashing your chest
caressing your shoulders
finally your neck
a cool, soft kiss
as I caress you into slumber.

I know you feel me.

God, I ache for you
in this hallowed, sea swept stillness.

If only you knew.

Monday, May 16, 2011

wanting beautiful



the velvet darkness swallows me
as my guitar cries
my soul lies bare
leaving my heart in the pitch
as the candle flickers out

I'm waiting, wanting you
knowing you
longing for your beautiful touch
searching each raindrop for your desperate whisper.

I can hear your soul
screaming for me
lost somewhere in the distant shadows
muted by pain
hidden by deceit
afraid to give in to the longing

I'm left wanting
my soul burning black
my very being
belongs to you, only you
if only I could reach you.

my fingers find the strings
and I play for you
while you wait for someday
until then
I will sing and strum in the dark
left wanting beautiful.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

little white lie


I fell asleep this afternoon and awoke to a beautiful sunset. It's times like these, I think of you.

Do you remember the days when we sat on the front porch, squeezed together facing one another on the loveseat with our knees entangled? Neither of us wanted more space than that between us.

A bare candle flickered on the corner table near our neglected chairs, and we talked about everything and nothing at all. As the sun set, the shadows lengthened, dramatic and infinite. When your eyes found mine, I knew without words that you wished these days would never end.

I'd wiggle my sleepy bare toes under my skirt and you would shift slightly with me, sensitive to my comfort. So close we could almost feel each other's heartbeat ... every movement we shared seemed heavy with meaning and promise ... like when I rested my palm on your knee to steady myself as I shifted just a little. I said I was moving because my leg was asleep, but really I wanted to get just a little bit closer, maybe catch your scent in the air. I hope you didn't mind my little white lie.

Once I settled, you leaned forward, channeling James Dean with your elbows atop your knees and a look on your face that promised beautiful trouble. You asked if you could tell me a secret, trying hard not to smile.  "Of course you can," I replied, barely contained excitement building. As I leaned in and turned my left ear slightly toward you, you lifted your right hand and I closed my eyes, hoping for your touch. My skin tingled as you brushed a stray curl back over my shoulder; my pulse raced as I felt your warm breath on my cheek. I wrapped my bare arms around your folded leg and rested my chin on your knee. Your shirt smelled of pine cones and cedar smoke, your skin like an ocean sunrise ... as I sit here now, I'm still intoxicated, waiting with bated breath for you to speak, as I was so long ago.

You rested your forehead on my temple, absently played with my bracelets, and whispered softly to me for what felt like hours. I smiled and laughed just a little, turned and made eye contact as our noses touched ... "Is that all?" I asked, and the fire in your eyes matched mine. Finally you smiled, lifting my spirits to the heavens, and we laughed together into the darkness.

When the sun spills through the porch windows  and the wind is blowing just right, I can hear the echoes of our blessed innocence careening through the trees. How I wish with all my heart that you were still here.