Pouring rain

Mother nature amazes me.

When the skies open up out of nowhere and you can hear the rain assaulting the roof, seeming like it will break through any second ... then it's obvious, she is all powerful.

It's a heady thought.

My mind likes to wander when it rains. It's been wandering to this guy, muddling the thought of him around in my head for a while. I enjoy making him laugh. I have a bit of a love affair with getting to know people; I ask little questions, here and there, testing the waters to see if this is someone I might trust enough to let into my circle.

It's a very, very small circle.

In what I consider to be an era of my life that has been rampant with intentional solitude, it's nice to find someone who sparks the interest in me to dig.

Who knows. In another month I might be calling him an asshole. Stay tuned.

Love

It's officially the first of September. I always feel a renewed sense of faith in life once this date arrives. This is my time - I live for late summer and fall.

Against all odds, today was a good day. Maybe it's just my underlying heady excitement, but I'm smiling nonetheless. I changed jobs recently, and working in a new city, with different people in a much faster paced environment has been quite stressful, but I finally feel like I've found my groove. The possibility of a new career track is exciting and keeps me driven. A lot of things went wrong there today; a lot of silly mistakes were made, the majority of people around me were cranky and negative - honestly it felt like the whole building had PMS. I did my best to try and lighten the mood whenever possible, and I think I found some new friends in the process. It's amazing what you're capable of when you're determined to make the best of things.

Today, I felt the pattern break. I laughed and talked, poked and prodded, fucked around with and sang to someone I barely know. These are things I haven't done in over a decade ... and knowing it put a smile on his face warmed my heart and soul.

Surprise, surprise.